What I got and did not got for Christmas!

GOT!
Kota My Triceratops Dinosaur
Failing to read the instructions, I sat on his back and simultaneously shatter ed his spine. Now he just lays in bed all day.
Don't worry, I take good care of him. I know he'd do the same for me. GOT!
Real Loving Baby Cuddle and Coo
After hearing that these dolls professed religious dogma, I just had to have one. However, like many other young adult males on Christmas morning, I was disappointed with my Cuddle&Coo. The dolls, like the perpetrators of the claim, fared no better than infantile nonsense. Nevertheless, I will continue to make use of it. I have grown more attached as the days progressed.
I guess you can say, I came for the religious message, but stayed for the cuddles and the coos.

GOT!
Powerwheels
Barbie Jeep
Being that A)I am lazy and B) my driving instructor was a bitch, I currently only hold a G1 liscense. I desperately needed a means of transportation that I could use, and that is was I got.
I was excited to get this baby on the road, however its inability to traverse mild inclines was a serious setback. On top of that , I can never get out of my driveway without my opinionated and often-violent neighbours letting me know how they feel.
I guess I'll put this one in the garage for now. Maybe there will be fewer inclines and less oppression come summer time.

GOT!
Baby Alive Potty
They come in three varieties: Caucasian, African, and Hispanic. In an attempt to stave off claims of racism and to maintain my reputatrion among the politically correct, I asked Santa for all three. Unfortunately he only delivered one. It was Caucasian.
I have since been disowned by my African and Hispanic friends. One of which is now pressing charges of discrimination against me. But who needs friends anyway. Especially since most of my free time is now consumed by making this white piece of plastic shit in a bowl.
Salvation from boredom has arrived, and not a moment too soon.

GOT!
Xbox Live
Video games are a lot like sex. That being said, one should not engange in them unless they personally know the other particpants. Otherwise videogames-like sex -will be raw, sweaty and lacking in sincerity. Call me old fashioned, but that aint my style.
Then of course, there is something about getting "pwned" by trash talking pre-teens that puts a real downer on the whole experience.
GOT!
New Underwear
Probably the gift I brag about the most. Their mention is a great conversation starter. Their presentation is a great conversation ender. I couldn't be more satisfied.

NOT!
EyeClops Night Vision infrared Goggles.
Kids with Night vision goggles play games and have fun, while young adults with night vision goggles become creeps and criminals. Or at least that's the reasoning Santa gave me as I was sprawled on his lap. Needless to say, I wasn't surprised by it's absence under the tree.

NOT!
Peace on Earth
To no surprise, Santa failed to deliver, again! I'm starting to think he and his elves are a bunch of sadist pricks.

NOT!
The Snuggie
Due to my lack of blanket mastery, I begged and pleaded for this one. A blanket with sleeves ...how could one go without it, knowing very well that it exists? I told Santa that if I didn't get a goddamn Snuggie (or its rival, the Slanket) for Christmas, the next letter he receives from me will be a suicide note.
Well, I didn't get one, and I have decided not to kill myself. Since Christwmas, I have discovered something called a sweater. It will suffice .for the time being.