Unclassifieds

Joe Scaringi,

After reading your picks for the 2010 Men's Olympic Hockey team, I'm sure as hell glad your not in charge of picking our rosters! I really don't think any of your rosters are championship contenders and will ask you the question, do you even watch hockey? I mean Chris Mason, Alex Auld, Adam Foote, Chris Phillips, Paul Kariya, Danny Briere, Jonathan Cheechoo, and Ryan Smyth all on your 1st team? I mean come on man, how do you not have Luongo, Ward, Turco, Steve Mason, Phaneuf, Boumeester, Neidermayer, Pronger, Nash, Lecavalier, St. Louis, Thornton, Getzlaf, Spezza, or Heatley even being considered for the 1st team? Anyways do all of us hockey fans a favour and do a little research next time before you write an article like this.

The Boys at MUCK MY BLOGTo the boys at Muck My Blog,

First and foremost, the three teams were in NO WAY WHATSOEVER meant to be taken as Team Canada 'A', Team Canada 'B' and Team Canada 'C'. They were meant to be taken, as outlined in the editorial, as Team Canada 1, Team Canada 2 and Team Canada 3 - three teams of "equal" stature, each with the same chance at being considered a contender. Not one awesome team, one pretty good team, and one mediocre team.

Secondly, the most important word in the entire article appears in the last paragraph: paragraph seven, sentence four, word four.

Sincerely,

The Dude Who Edits Sports

Dear Dad,

I remember being four years old and having you wake me up at the crack of dawn for my very first hockey practice. I remember being so dreadfully tired that I felt entirely robotic as you brought me downstairs and began cloaking me with peculiar equipment that you had laid out ever so symmetrically on the staircase. Clad in everything but skates, helmet and gloves, you put me in the front seat of the car and we headed to Stamford Arena.

This is a morning that I will remember for the rest of my life. For on this day, you introduced me to the wonderful game of the hockey. And for this I am forever grateful. I cannot wait to partake some day in this same moment with my own son. They say that talent skips a generation, so here's hoping that my boy plays much like his grandfather and nothing like his old man.

Happy Father's Day,

Your oldest son,

-Smoke

DAddy

Thank you for being one of the kindest men I know, even when we talk about inappropriate things at the dinner table, and when I forget for the millionth time to put a bag in my garbage can.

One day, I hope to have as incredibly honed pun skills as you (English is CRAA-ZZZYY), and be able to BBQ in a way that makes the neighbours want to come over for dinner.

They say that women always look for a mate who is just like their fathers.

I think I'll be looking for a very long time, and that's not a bad thing.

Love you very much.

Katherine

Dear Big Fat Dad,

Happy Fathers Day!! I hope you are having a relaxing, enjoyable day today, because you deserve it. Thank you for always being their with great knowledgeable advice and putting up with your oddball artsy daughter. You have been a constant driving force for me to achieve and do my best, thank you.

Love Always,

Princess of All the Land, Including Zimbabwe,

Erika

Natalie MAe,

Its about time you are home where you belong. Thank you for a great week - I hope you had as good a time as I did. I'll miss you but at least I know I'll get to see you soon. I can't wait for September!!

G

To my better half,

I like living with you. Toronto is fun. So are concerts.

I say, forget getting jobs, we'll just be poor and enjoy the random red headed druggies who attempt to play instruments with us.

Speaking of instruments, let's hope we get on that festival. We could have a fierce party and play some tunes. We'll play all yours. Yours are way better anyways.

I'm tired, you probably are too.

Let's go to "bed" early tonight. We could watch more How I Met Your Mother and enjoy the witty banter of it.

Heart,

Dude in Crystal City

BA;

Happy Father's Day, Birthday, Anniversary and... I think that is it.

I hope you approve of my take on the historic event we encountered in Toronto, and thank you, thank you, thank you for making our attendence possible.

Oh, and thanks for being the best dad ever.

Love,

Dingo

Small sister

You have been gone for a little while, and it makes me sad. I miss you, and am afraid I won't be able to recognize you when you come home because you will be a chocolate cupcake.

A muffin with icing, if you will.

I bought a maxi dress (pad) while you were away. I hope you don't hate it and call me a Mom.

Love you.

SBA

Dear Princess Bumble-bee of the Lost Mountainous Region of Wopper;

I long for the days of unemployment when we could watch the same movie a rediculous amount of times and consume copious amounts of Arizona's. However, I know these few months of sunshine, flowers and construction will go by too fast and we will be tossed back into unemployment and procrastination.

I look forward to bus rides full of naming strangers and choosing future husbands (in the least creepy manner possible).

Although your obsession with teen heart-throbs and elderly professors sometimes scares me, I shall continue to be your friend... for now.

Love,

Moi

Dear the Brock Press Office

Why are you so hot?

I am actually dying right now, even though I'm "wearing the least amount of clothing in the office".

In these temperatures, one can be very unproductive.

At least you have a barely visible water cooler and cups somewhere.

If this continues, we will have to part ways until the middle of December when all I will do is complain about how cold it is in here.