That's what she or he said

Question

why is it so hard to find a good guy?? ive been hurt thru alot in my life alot of abuse and it really sucked!

ive been cheated on alot never felt good enought for anybody. it seems like the only guys who talk to me only one want one thing and that sex! i know im not perfect but i deserve to be treated good right?!?!?

every girl does. i just want someone who will love me for me not try 2 change me

She said

I'm going to take a shot in the dark here and guess that every guy that you have ever had a chance with probably left you the minute he heard you speak.

Now, I'm not saying that dumb girls can't end up in successful and meaningful relationships — if Jersey Shore or the show where all the pretty girls are living and working at a magazine or something that I don't care about are any example, there is love out there for everyone — but, I think you really need to step up your game in the literacy department. Once you have that figured out, perhaps your problem lies in where you are meeting these guys.

There are good guys out there who will accept you as the broken, shell of a woman that you are – a lot (notice the space between the ‘a' and the ‘lot') of them in fact. However, these guys are not hanging out at bars, gas station washrooms or at the dumpsters behind fast food joints, where I'm just going to assume you are meeting most of them. The good guys see sad girls like you and head for the hills. Good guys don't want to change girls, just as much as they don't want to continually pander to their pathetic, probably outrageous self-image.

Here's an idea – start having a little self-confidence and take a trip to the library. Maybe you'll meet a fella' there. Talk about two birds with one stone, right?!?!??!

He said

I would like to preface my "advice" with the following disclaimer: this is an anonymous advice column. This is hopefully your rope's end, your last ditch effort, your hail-mary pass. Please, if this was your first move and if you aren't ready for tough love, stop reading now and consult one of your enabling friends, because this shit is about to get real.

This is all your fault.

How could I possibly know this? A simple analysis of your account would show you to be the common denominator between every single problem you've become victim of.

You ask how it could be so hard to find a good guy? Well, the fact that you haven't means one of two things. A) that there are no good guys (this seems statistically unlikely) or B) that you have met good guys,  but they just didn't care all that much for you. When you weigh out the options — that either there are no decent men on the planet, or that you are unaware of your serious social issues — it's easy to see why they were unfaithful.

Not only do you seem to have a really big problem — body odor, a nervous tick or maybe a goiter —  but you also seem to be completely ignorant of it. This has led to every dude you've ever cared about either cheating on you and leaving you, or just leaving you.

The only suggestion I have is a complete personality and physical overhaul: quit your job and move out of the country. Reinvent your personality; get a makeover on a TLC show and just start out new. I really see no other way to get past the monumental mistake that is your identity.

You can look at this as the beginning of a devastating plunge into self-loathing, or as a bubbly new chance at life. Seriously, I hope you take the latter option, because even I'm getting bummed out with this advice.