That's what he or she said, Nov. 1

Question

I don't know if it's just me, but online dating is beginning to piss me off. Are people just creating profiles for the fun of it? I put my profile up because I'm serious about finding someone. It just seems like there are way too many issues with online dating:

1) No replies. There are 1000's and 1000's of profiles on there, but you send out messages and never get a reply. You can see that they read your message, and that they looked at your profile, but they're too lazy to send a reply? Awesome. Thanks, for the effort, hun (and no I'm not sending "hey, what up sexy?" messages. I read their profiles and put time into my emails).

2) They reply. In my experience, for the ones that do reply, we send a few messages back and forth, they show interest, so I grab get their number and try to set up a meet-up. This is where 1 of three things happen.

2a) We meetup and they look nothing like their picture.

2b) We setup a date to meetup, but they flake on the day of the meetup.

2c) We exchange messages back and forth... and they eventually stop replying.

Is it just me?

She Said

I would personally like to thank you, because you seem like a pretty decent person with a legitimate relationship question – a far cry for the majority of dribble we respond to in this section. I would also like to thank you for shattering my ignorant notion that all people who utilize online dating are 40-year-old men wearing nothing but stained white underwear who have one computer screen open on Lava Life, and the other on World of Warcraft, cranking it to one or the other. Or both simultaneously.

Having little to no knowledge in the area of online dating, I'm going to have to rely on my real world dating experiences to answer your questions. The no reply obviously means that you're not putting out enough. Simple as that. They're not lazy – they just know they're not going to get any sexy time out of it, so they give up. Try putting less effort in making a personal connection and focus more on getting a bikini wax, and someone will nab you up real quick.

In regards to the meet up: if they look nothing like their photo, how do you even know who you're looking for? I would suggest showing up 10 minutes later than your date expects, and then just leaving if you don't see them there/there isn't a crazy hot person sitting all alone. If they flake, you are obviously not what you look like in your picture (ie. crazy hot). I would suggest stopping taking your photos in your bathroom mirror. Or, if they are in your bathroom mirror, you should probably be naked and allow the flash to cover your nasty bits. This may take some practice. Trust me. Finally, if they stop replying, please refer to the previous paragraph for the obvious reason and solution.

He Said

Dude, it is just you. Why? Because beggars can't be choosers. You are talking about a online dating service. Nobody who uses those bothers to get frustrated with them because it's probably their last chance at not being alone for the rest of their lives.

However, I should be fair and honest with you. I do, on occasion, create profiles on online dating sites just for shits and giggles. If you are indeed trying to contact them, I am sorry, but Clarice, the nympho who's addicted to marshmallow peeps and runs the local Philip K Dick fan club, is not real.

As for the rest of your issues, well, they seem like you're the problem. Think about it: no one replies you, they flake out and don't show, or they stop replying. In each of these, you are the common denominator.

So what is it? Do you have scales instead of skin? Did you get the Darth Vader mask tattooed on your face? Are you a hardcore Avatar fan?

Well, whatever it is, the problem is you dude, and you're just going to have to deal with it. Maybe its time to give a second chance to those few ladies who showed up but didn't look like their photo. I mean, at least they showed up to have dinner with you, right?

Fact is, you have resigned yourself to a certain standard by steeping this low to get laid. You're just going to have to roll with the punches and take what you can get. Either that, or return to the real world of dating, with its exciting "live conversations" and "real personalities".

However, it is a pretty complex process to cover up that Darth Vader tattoo, so maybe you should stick to the virtual dating community.

To conclude, yes, it is just you.