Taxiiiiiii!

If you go to Brock University, or have ever been to St. Catharines, chances are you have met Henry.He isn't known for his punctuality or professional demeanor from his seat in front of the cab he drives. It's the conversation that gives him his legacy.

Henry is known for his effervescent stories about his ex-wife who left him for a woman, and his subsequent escapades drinking and picking up hookers with his buddies. And he'll tell you about them whether you want him to or not.

"Going to Club Estano, please," I said, on my first encounter with him last fall.

He replied: "Club Estano? Look for my ex-wife there. She is a dirty dyke carpet muncher."

Every conversation with Henry on cab rides to and from downtown, or to and from the Pen Centre have began and ended as such. He always has something to say, particularly if he got back from a weekend in Montral.

"I went out drinking with my buddy and we went to all the strip bars," he told me. "Some prostitute tried to get us to pick her up, but I told her, 'Lady, you can try all you want, but we ain't going to be able to get it up'."

Some statistics have shown that 30 per cent of students use cabs for transportation in new and unknown cities where they go to school. This statistic is evident at Brock as main service providers Central Taxi and 5-0 Taxi are seen throughout campus shuffling students to and from destinations off the escarpment.

The late-night drunk bus has not been around forever, and parts of the Niagara region are not served by transit systems seven days a week. The grocery store is at the bottom of the hill and the bars are even farther away.

Thus, some Brock students agree that if you are going to school here, taking cabs is a "necessary evil."

Henry isn't the only colourful and conversational cab driver. There are many, with both driver and passenger walking away with many stories to be told.

Jimmy St. Louis is a cab driver in Hamilton. He was laid off from Stelco and took a job as a driver to make cash and support his family before he gets back to work. The shifts are long - carting students sober, drunk and in-between across the city, with not much else to do but make conversation.

"In a university and college town, people come and go, and chances are you aren't going to see them again ... it becomes entertaining to see what the people say, or talk about yourself," he said. "It's more entertaining to make things up. Some people will believe anything."

Kerry, a Brock student, recalled a driver in Toronto who claimed to be superstitious and gave her cause for worry.

The driver was to drop Kerry off in a parking lot where her car was so, she told him, she could drive the rest of the trip home. In the time of their short drive, the driver cautioned her about other drivers, insinuating that something may happen to her on the ride home. The conversation, she said, creeped her out.

The dialogue between driver and passenger can be just as colourful closer to home. A Brock student going by the name of Tim said he had one conversation that was something out of Ripley's Believe It or Not.

The driver claimed himself to be a millionaire and gambling genius. He explained all the secrets of gambling from the way to gamble on roulette properly to the best way to play Craps. He estimated his worth to be over a million dollars, having on occasion made thousands in one night.

However, Tim said that his particular odour and stained jeans gave him means to question the validity of the drivers testimony.

Another Brock student going by the name of Abbey told a story about a driver who didn't brag about money in the bank, rather brag about the luck he had in his occupation.

He said he once picked up a newly wed couple, right from the chapel, who proceeded to get freaky in his back seat. He kept his eyes forward, despite the husband's encouragement for the driver to watch his beautiful wife. He drove around for an extra hour and a half to allow the newlyweds to partake in marital bliss. He considered himself pretty lucky to get this free show.

"The couple was great and they tipped me really well," he told Abbey. "They had to run into the house naked for money. They were pretty indifferent about the whole thing. When they came back out though, the husband wanted to watch his wife give me a blow job. They even paid for that too."

The conversations can indeed be extreme. However, they can also be quite deep and personal without being invasive. Having a cab driver around when you're stuck can also be pretty helpful.

Brock student Christine remembered the kindness of a cab driver when she and four friends were lost in Toronto. A little frazzled after being left alone after a grad party, no cab driver would pick Christine and her counterparts up because of regulations for cabs to carry no more than four passengers.

After a few hours with no luck trying to navigate the big city, a cab driver finally decided to break the rules and help out the group. The four girls squeezed into the back, while their male counterpart shared the front with the driver, equipped with an umbrella for a defense weapon, "just in case," she said. It was late in the big city after all, and you never know.

St. Louis insisted that a cab driver doesn't have the easiest job.

"You can spend all night sitting in a parking lot scratching your balls, or all night driving a bunch of drunks around," he said.

The pay is minimal, and most of a driver's salary is made with tips that not everyone pays after spending all their cash at a bar. Passengers can be just as rude and have invasive stories as some drivers, like Henry, can be. And, getting behind the wheel in some cities can even be risky business.