Horrorscopes - October 10, 2012

Published: Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Updated: Wednesday, October 10, 2012 13:10

Aries: March 21–Apr. 19
Now that you have finally settled into the semester, now is as good of a time as any to tell you that this is as good as it’s ever going to get for you.

Taurus: Apr. 20–May 20
You will not get that part-time job you applied for because you were the worst applicant by far. It probably had something to do with the stupid outfit you wore to the interview.

Gemini: May 21–June 21
It’s about time that you confess your feelings to that guy or girl you’ve been hooked on. I mean, we both know that you will be terribly rejected, but this will allow you more time to get over it. Like rippin’ off a band-aid.

Cancer: June 22–July 22
You cannot afford to indulge in those Thanksgiving leftovers, you glutton.

Leo: July 23–Aug. 22
I know you really like the whole collared shirt/ sweater combo, but it does not suit you and you should probably never attempt it again.

Virgo: Aug. 23–Sept. 22
You are going to be super paranoid this week and have no idea why. That’s always fun.

Libra: Sept. 23–Oct. 23
The only reason your family lied about you being an “ambitious, focused and determined individual” this past Thanksgiving weekend is because no one likes to talk about their drunken, lazy and under-achieving relative.

Scorpio: Oct. 24–Nov. 21
Happy birthday month, Scorpio! It’s that time of year when everyone pretends to like you and only remembers your birthday because Facebook informs him or her.

Sagittarius: Nov. 22–Dec. 21
Your own grandmother forgot your name this past weekend because you are no one of importance.

Capricorn: Dec. 22–Jan. 19
No one cares about the useless things you post on Facebook or Twitter. No one.

Aquarius: Jan. 20–Feb. 18
No one cares about the useless things you post on Facebook or Twitter. No one.

Pisces: Feb.19–Mar. 20
Stop acting like you live in a soap opera, drama fiend. Woe is not you, and this week your biggest dilemma will be figuring out what kind of bagel to order at Tim Hortons.

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Not everyone can be happy all the time

Brock students taking aim at Dining Services

I would join in the boycott, I really would. However, living in residence due to my co-op situation, I am forced to pay the extra $3000 for a meal plan, and I can't afford to boycott for $3K. I hate that I have to give any amount of money at all to a multinational that has such a heavy hand in the for-profit prison industry.

posted by: Albatross
Senior’s night in the Bronx

How do you think the Jays will fare this season? Is all the hype surrounding the team credible?

posted by: Anonymous
Brock students taking aim at Dining Services

two notes: 1. Find out how much of Brock University takes (its called override, and University's force an upcharge so they can pocket $$ - its the best kept secret to fleece students and parents of their hard earned money); 2. Ask how much Sodexo gets in VDAs (volume Discount Allowances), the costs they present to you are fake.

posted by: Anonymous
Unclassifieds - March 19, 2013

fart

posted by: Anonymous
Battle of the cold: 5 days vs. the homeless

Sleeping outside, in your car, a tent, or in your own bed has the exact same effect on homelessness. This attempt to "cure" homelessness is morally bankrupt and is a fashionable way to exploit the exploited. It's classic bourgeois hypocrisy.
Would it make any sense whatsoever to drive drunk in order to alleviate drunk-driving related deaths?
The legitimacy of this hipster endeavour should be questioned by students and staff and the community at large. I am unclear the stance of the University on allowing people sleeping on school grounds. Can anyone sleep outside and ask for donations?
Best part of the week? Definitely seeing an iPad in the hands of these 'homeless'. Also, seeing other students bringing over coffee and donuts and sorts of garbage is laughable. Oh, and of course, the decision of the students to "encourage donators to focus on non-perishable items for Community Care instead of items for the students, as a surplus of supplies had been acquired and they were well fed, warm and holding strong the rest of the week."
I am not going to discount the intentions of some, most, or even all the students involved - However, this glorified camping trip is indigestible and in my opinion, an excuse to be seen rather than to voice, an excuse to hang out, hippie style, when in reality, their work only further takes away the responsibility of the municipal, provincial, and federal politicians. The state has a responsibility to protect its citizens. In the case of the 5 days of homelessness, the students are aiding and abetting the capital class

posted by: Anonymous
Ontario Government to ban tanning beds for teens under 18

The benefits of sunlight FAR OUTWEIGH the risks. No pill or diet can do what sunshine does. Lack of vitamin D will leave you vulnerable to chronic diseases, including: 16 types of internal cancer, Diabetes, Heart disease, High blood pressure, Multiple sclerosis, Osteoporosis, Psoriasis, Rickets, Schizophrenia, Tuberculosis and, Myopathy. (Dr. Joseph Mercola)   We, in Canada, cannot get what we need from the sun 6 months out of the year!
Everything we do is a calculated risk. Walking across the street, driving to work... but our choices are based on whether the advantages outweigh the risks.   Exposure to sunlight, whether outdoors or in a tanning bed, is a risk that is outweighed by it's benefits. It goes without saying that moderation is KEY.
Any time statistics based on percentage increases are given, it should raise a red flag. These numbers can be misleading unless they also disclose the starting level from which the percentage increase was calculated. For example, 100% of nothing is nothing. Right?
  Ask yourself how many people you know have actually died from skin cancer. Any? But how many have died from heart disease or suffer from high blood pressure? Quite a few, I'm sure. Deaths from heart disease are hundreds of times higher than deaths from skin cancer. The decision over whether to risk melanoma rather than heart disease should be left to the consumer, not to the government.
This mania to ban teen tanning will one day leave governments embarrassed and back-peddling. It could cause a delayed increase in breast cancer or heart disease and perhaps a number of melanomas will prevented, but would leave epidemiologists scratching their heads wondering why.
If we took the advice that constantly seems to be crammed down our throats from cosmetic dermatology groups, we would be slathering ourselves (and our children) with chemical sunscreens 24/7. And why not? We've been made sufficiently terrified of the sun, haven't we? If you think about it, they seem to be getting rich off our fear. Could the motive behind the sun-scare campaign actually be money?
The worst part is the irony. Did you know that the active ingredient in SPF is a carcinogen? Look it up.

posted by: Marion M
Gender-neutral washrooms

Actually, gender neutral bathrooms are helpful to trans* people, not gay people specifically. It's so people don't feel threatened using bathrooms. Trans* people have more urinary problems than any other portion of the population due to them avoiding bathroom use because they don't feel safe. Gender neutral bathrooms would allow them to be safe. Also, Brock Pride isn't just about gay people. It's about all gender and sexuality minorities.

posted by: Anonymous
Strega’s open mic night

I think you mean Edwin Conroy, not Conrad...

posted by: Ern
Imagination: now, it’s against the rules

Great article, Tim!

posted by: Charlie Lyons
Titus is set to hit the stage

The beautiful photography is by Maggie Hunter!

posted by: Anonymous