Breaking News: Zombie Attack!

How do you kill something that is already dead?If slow moving, un-intelligent, flesh-eating creatures surround you, are you prepared to fight for your life?

They know you are there; it is just a matter of time before they find you and make you one of their own in a gruesome and assumingly painful initiation ceremony. Then you too will be destined to wander the Earth with your sole purpose, which doubles, as your means for survival, is to chow down on some unsuspecting humans.

Though the physical characteristics of the un-dead have been well documented throughout popular media, what causes reanimation and an undying thirst for brains is often inexplicable, though things such as radiation-covered NASA satellites returning from Venus have been blamed.

One thing is for certain however, the end of most Zombie outbreaks is determined in either total annihilation of the human race by the hand of the undead, or insanity taking over human reason. In the event of a mass exodus from the graveyards and morgues of our cities, there is little that many of us will be able to do to prolong human existence.

But, I don't know. Perhaps I'm taking the pessimistic approach to the whole Zombiepocalypse. Perhaps you know exactly what you would do to protect yourself, and have been taking precautions to ensure your own survival, and potentially even contain the problem and co-exist in some fashion.

You, then, are among thousands of individuals, internationally, who are prepared: stock-piling food and water, learning how to make a fire 42 different ways, how to operate a HAM radio and a myriad of other skills that will hopefully prolong your own survival in the event of a massive Zombie outbreak.

Many of these individuals are card-carrying members of an "elite zombie suppression task-force ready to defend your neighbourhood from the shambling hordes of the walking dead", otherwise known as the Zombie Squad. And, according to the organization's Web site, "when the zombie removal business is slow, [Zombie Squad focuses their] efforts towards educating [themselves] and [their] community about the importance of disaster preparation".

Aleks Rakocevic, Chris Fernick and Holly Cotnam are members of the Southern Ontario chapter of the international organization, and are three parts of the only registered team of Zombie hunters in Canada.

For Rakocevic, one of the things that drew him to the international organization was the way they advertised themselves.

"What happened originally was that I was on the Internet looking for Zombie stuff, after watching Dawn of the Dead. I just googled it, and found the Zombie Squad Web site. At first it was kind of tongue-in-cheek humour that got me interested in them, and then I stuck with them because there is so much more to the organization than the attracting force of pop culture."

Zombies, according to Rakocevic and the organization, are a metaphor for preparedness in general. Being the most relentless and surreal disaster that could ever happen, if an individual is prepared to survive a Zombie outbreak, they are prepared to survive anything. Many individuals are not prepared, and may unintentionally end up worse-off than when the disaster struck.

"The first response from many people is that they will just run down to the local Wal-Mart, and barricade themselves in there. There is food and water, guns and ammunition, etc. But that's a terrible idea. That is the most horrible idea. Chances are, if you weren't prepared to begin with, you're not going to be prepared when you get there," he said. "And, the thing is you're not going to be the only person to think that heading to the Wal-Mart is a good idea. In terms of organized response, the worst place to be is where there is a whole bunch of other people who are just as prepared as you. That's a sure fire-way to get yourself in trouble."

The Zombie aspect, then, draws individuals who may not even be thinking about the survivalism and preparedness element of their lives into a community that is based whole-heartedly on exactly that. University students are the demographic of the Zombie Squad, mostly because they are the ones who are having a morbid love-affair with the genre.

"It's a great way to get people involved, because everyone looks at and says 'Hey, Zombies, I love Zombies,'" Rakocevic said.

"A lot people come in and look at it and say, 'OK, I love Zombie movies. This is what I would do in the case of a Zombie attack'. That's how it all started, because what would you do if you were there watching Dawn of the Dead, and a Zombie popped up right beside you, and people start talking about it because it's fun, but it also opens up the discussion for how prepared are you really?"

Once new members are hooked, it is hard to walk away from an organization of like-minded peers, who are just as interested in volunteering their time in the community and having fun while doing so.

The Southern Ontario chapter of Zombie Squad has been involved in many organizations in the region, volunteering time with the Red Cross, Cancer research and Project S.H.A.R.E., an organization based out of Niagara Falls. The group likes to work primarily with local volunteer based organizations rather than a huge overhead, to ensure their money and time is going to help people out directly.

Yet, beyond the local, many members of Zombie Squad have picked up everything and headed to disaster sites across the country over the last few years to offer assistance to those in need, including New Orleans to help with Hurricane Katrina relief, and storm relief in Greensburg, Kentucky.

When it comes down to a natural disaster, there are a few things you can do in your own home to be prepared for the worst.

"The best way to be prepared is to be prepared in advance. You should have food and water stock-piled at home. I mean, it's much more likely that we will have a massive ice storm than Zombies rising from the dead, but in that case, if you have food and water stock-piled, maybe a generator, a second way of fuelling your home, you'll be good for a few days or weeks and not have to worry about it."

However, in the case of Zombies rising from the dead, I know I will be calling Rakocevic and the rest of the Zombie Extermination Specialists that make up the world's premier non-stationary cadaver suppression task force.