Funny, insane, weird and inane eBay auctions

When it comes to finding cheap prices on the Internet, eBay is a prime destination. However, eBay is also a global marketplace for hilarity where many obscure and ridiculous items exist and are sold on a daily or even hourly basis. For this article, I went on a quest to find some of the stranger eBay auctions to see what I could dig up.A used pair of porn star Joe Cartwright's underwear
For approximately one British pound, you can acquire a pair of underwear worn by the star of such feature films as Rear Entry VII. This pair was worn for the movies 10 Things I Love About Dick and Dude, Where's my Bistro and Cigar Lounge? Yes, that is an actual movie title. Both of these movies were filmed in Romania and the underwear brand is Dolce and Gabbana, so even if you don't care about Cartwright, you can still wash them and have a nice pair of designer underwear for less than a British pound. At this point in the auction, shipping costs more than the item itself.

The Family Matters: Do the Urkel board game
No description that I write can equate to the amazingness of the actual item description:

"For years, mothers and fathers everywhere have asked themselves the question 'How do I get my children to view me as something more than a cyborg parental unit?' At last we have an answer: Do The Urkel with them! Do The Urkel is basically a collecting game. Collect eight bow ties to win the game. Challenges and pitfalls abound however, and you may find yourself having to imitate Urkel, hike up your pants, laugh and snort, or even sing the Urkel song - complete with finger puppet and cardboard eyeglasses. An ideal holiday gift for every Family Matters fan. C'mon, you're not afraid to get a little silly once in a while are you?"

The item is currently at 99 cents and gtowndogg is the high bidder. Once again, shipping is more than the actual item, in fact more than six times the cost.

A cautionary decal
This is no ordinary cautionary decal, but one that reads "Caution: My farts have been known to kill barnyard animals." This is a vinyl decal that sticks to most surfaces and won't leave any adhesive sticky stains. It only costs a dollar and shipping is $1.25, so this is definitely a worthwhile purchase for those with smelly farts.

Little Sprout talking alarm clock
For those of you who don't remember, the Jolly Green Giant had a son named Little Sprout. In 1985, a talking alarm clock was made in his honour and is currently for sale on eBay. In the morning, the alarm will beep and Little Sprout will say "It's time to get up, or as we say in the valley, have a ho-whole lot of fun today!" I'm not quite sure how such a product was ever marketed.

John Wayne Toilet Paper
The auction declares this item a great conversation piece which is true, and something every John Wayne fan ought to have which is untrue. The item itself doesn't have any pictures of Wayne himself on it and simply reads "John Wayne Toilet Paper. It's rough. It's tough & it don't take no crap from nobody!" An item that I'm sure this western movie icon appreciates from beyond the grave.

A 1963 Jetsons Lunch Box and Thermos
Not that funny, right? Not until you find out that the current bid is $1,025 and that it has 15 bids. The bidding started at $9.99 but this is obviously a high ticket item. It will be interesting to see how much it sells for when the auction is completed this coming Friday.

Lucky Charms cereal Pog set
Remember pogs? Well, they're back! In Lucky Charms form. This is the complete set of 12 Lucky Charms pogs from 1995 that are for sale. The Buy it Now price on this item is four dollars, so act quickly and you could have luck to follow you around.

Virgin Mary in grilled cheese form
This story made national news this past week and is a grilled cheese sandwich from ten years ago that contains the image of the Virgin Mary. There is a whole story behind it and the seller claims that they took a bite out of it and saw the face of the Virgin Mary looking up at them. The seller also claims that the sandwich has brought her good luck and blessings as they won over $70,000 from a local casino. The item is currently at $7,600 and the seller claims that the item for sale is not a hoax or joke.

As a result of the news generated from this item, people have been making their own replicas of the sandwich for sale and a shirt that says "I ate the Virgin Mary grilled cheese" on the front and "It was sacrilicious" on the back.

In conclusion, eBay rocks.