Pop-Aholic: Take the "Time" out of Halftime

There are many cases in recent times where people have taken large steps in order to make things more "appropriate" for the sake of "decency". Steven Spielberg used his special effects voodoo to transform all of the guns held by the federal agents in ET into walkie-talkies. When films like Casino and The Big Lebowski are shown on certain television stations, they are edited to empty husks of their former selves. The result has as much in common with the source material as those YouTube tributes set to Linkin Park songs. This type of filtration has even effected the sacred ground of cultural purity from which kings are created and destroyed. This is commonly referred to as the Superbowl Halftime Show.
The Halftime Show has a boring history. It took a long time for musical headliners to consistently perform, but at the turn of the century things started picking up quickly. In 2000 Christina Aguilera, Enrique Iglesias, Toni Braxton, and Phil Collins entertained. In 2001 Aerosmith, 'N Sync, Britney Spears, Mary J. Blige, and Nelly took the stage. 2002 featured U2, and 2003 rocked Shania Twain, No Doubt, and Sting. The trend of contemporary talent mixed with musical icons insured that these performances had something for everyone.
For Superbowl XXXVIII, Jessica Simpson, Nelly, P. Diddy, and Kid Rock were present as Justin Timberlake used the black arts to reveal Janet Jackson's breast to the world. Since that fateful night, networks created an unofficial and extreme policy to prevent cravings for further nudity: no one under 30 has performed since.
Just look at these line ups: Paul McCartney, The Rolling Stones, Prince, Tom Petty, and this year Bruce Springsteen. Having these fossils mediate halves of the biggest sporting event of the year is like popping a bunch of Demerol, going skiing, and hoping that the adrenaline will overpower the sedatives.
I'm not looking for Halftime to turn into some Disney Channel musical event, but at least pump some fresh talent into the show. Nothing will make me happier than hearing a song that I can be certain, temporally speaking, I was not conceived to. These performers just don't belong in a sports arena. When was the last time someone stepped up to bat and "Hey Jude" was playing? If these trends continue, by the time Superbowl XLIX rolls around the Halftime Show will be sponsored by Polident and Rogaine.