Mental Masturbation: Making the cut

When I was 15, my mom gave me a copy of Kim Cattrall's book, "Satisfaction", which is essentially a how-to book for achieving the female orgasm. She has always been a big believer in educating yourself to know what you want so you can ask for it . even when it comes to her daughter's sex life.
Recent years have seen women's sexuality become a much more out-in-the-open topic; still, every now and then, I am reminded about all the little ways the world perpetuates myths of female sexuality. Along with setting everyone, male and female, up for disappointment via portrayals of instant and exaggeratedly satisfying climaxes in almost every movie and television sex scene - an idea of normalcy has been created that suggests that normal women have amazing orgasms every time, with little direction or effort.
However, the prevalence of sexual dysfunction issues in North America suggests that the exact opposite is true. In reality, studies show that only one in four women will achieve climax through intercourse alone, not to mention the increased number of women reportedly experiencing "female sexual arousal disorder" (FSAD) - which is characterized by a woman being continually unable to attain or maintain arousal and lubrication during sexual intercourse, being unable to reach climax and possibly even having no desire for sexual intercourse. In the United States, 47 million women have FSAD, and on top of that, the number one sexual complaint of American women is dry or painful sex.
Even the pharmaceutical world has taken note of issues in female sexuality, with the advent of products like O Cream and Viacreme which are often referred to as "Viagara for women" since they essentially swell the area where they are applied and make it more sensitive to touch and sensation.
While for some people a topical cream may help intensify or increase the frequency of orgasm, it suggests that the problem lies in the female body, and requires a chemical remedy. When the focus moves from partner and self education, it seems like women might be settling for the quick-fix rather than learning how to have better sex, and ultimately, better orgasms.
An interesting study came out of New Zealand from the International Coalition for Genital Integrity - which, for obvious reasons, immediately calls into question the legitimacy of its results. But assuming the study is even partially true it would suggest that female pleasure has been reduced by our own vanity.
The study found that the uncircumcised penis is actually designed to aid in keeping naturally produced vaginal lubrication inside the vagina - and that in our quest for aesthetically pleasing genitals - if such a thing exists - we are potentially causing, or at least amplifying, sexual disorders.
Beyond just a lubrication issue, circumcision also changes the amount of sensation experienced by both males and females during intercourse. One male, who opted to be circumcised as an adult, described the experience of intercourse as being "like going from colour to black and white".
With 70 per cent of North American males currently circumcised and 60 percent of baby boys being circumcised annually, it would seem that males have their own myth of sexual normalcy to contend with - circumcision.
The majority of men in North America are circumcised, and as such, the idea has been propagated that women prefer to have sex with a guy who comes with a circumcised package. Women's magazines are continually writing stories and publishing letters about women who have found out their sexual partner wasn't circumcised and are unsure how to "deal" with the situation.
Meanwhile, adult men are opting to undergo painful surgery to be circumcised to reduce insecurities they may feel about being outside-the-norm. Yet, in the rest of the world, circumcised males are in the minority; in Europe the average rate ranges between 10 and 15 per cent. There is no concrete evidence that circumcision improves or diminishes sexual pleasure for either partner, just a lot of contradictory studies and reports from regular people doing "research".
Basically, what it all comes down to is this: While both men and women are combating the myth of normalcy and the easy orgasm, the fact that studies continue to be done in the area of human sexuality mean that all hope is not lost. Sexual preferences differ from person to person - and the more we learn about our own preferences, the better we can become at teaching others about how to satisfy us.
Plus, when it comes to educating yourself about your own sexuality, doing your homework can be a lot of fun.