Be excellent to each other

I've never been a fan of any type of New Year's Eve celebration: the expectations are always unattainably high, the cost generally outweighs the satisfaction and Mickey Rourke is never there (despite my numerous elaborate invitations), so I always end up kissing my second choice when the ball drops at midnight. Truth be told, I'm a bit of a Grinch in general when it comes to the holiday season, and all my disdain and stress tends to cumulate on Dec. 31 every year.

The one thing that is certain every New Years Eve is that one person will ask that question that shall not be asked. Without fail, as I secretly finish off whatever hors d'oeuvres are left out on the kitchen counter like some sort of Weight Watchers ninja, a beautiful and fit individual will approach me in my fortress of solitude. Generally a woman, she will sachét in, still wearing her six-inch heals like some sort of fashion-robot immune to any kind of humanly pain, and begin to mutter the words that are the kryptonite to my otherwise unfaltering upkeep of social appearances. Right as she is about to say "resolutions", I create some sort of distraction as to not answer her.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" I shout. "Excuse me; I have to go leave a voice-mail for my cats." I have no resolutions, you demon woman. I just shoved four room temperature mozza-sticks in my mouth because I saw some guy briefly glance at them from across the room. On the first day of the new year, or as I affectionately refer to it "Sweat pants and regrets day", as drug stores and weight loss centres are flooded with individuals making an early start on the promises the night before, I am enjoying whatever HGTV marathon that is on, continuing my life just like I did the day before.

It's not a question of willpower, either, if that's what you're thinking. I have willpower all the time, tons of it even, especially during the holiday season. I have enough willpower to not curse out the driver slowly following me to my parking spot at the mall like a predator in a dark alley because they refuse to walk more than two minutes to the building. I have enough willpower to overcome the need to hurry once I reach my vehicle because someone is waiting for my spot, when there is an entire row available a mere 30 second drive from where I am parked. I have enough willpower every day of my life to keep my cool in irritating situations, to deny myself a third slice of pizza and to go for a walk when it's nice out. While I may not have the willpower to force myself to go to a 6:00 a.m. spin class, to eat the recommended caloric intake in a day, every day, or remember to count to 10 when I'm outrageously mad, I'm not going to stress out about it because when I am ready to tackle those things, regardless of what day of the year it is, I will.

I have never understood any kind of holiday with a mandate of showing your affection to another individual, or making a pledge to better yourself simply because of a calendar. Is that not something that one should do every day? Rather than waking up on Jan. 1 and reminding yourself that you made a resolution to stop being so petty in the office, shouldn't you wake up every day doing that? In the same breath, rather than stressing about finding the perfect gift for one of your loved ones, should you not show them that you care about them all year round via affection, respect and the occasional material good?

In grandiose after-school special manner, live every day like it's New Years Eve. Rather than simply coming up with a list of resolutions on Dec. 31 like all the cool kids, be O.K. enough with yourself to sit at the loser table in the cafeteria, and complete your own personal list on your own time. Wake up each day and promise to be excellent to yourself and others, and don't beat yourself up over it when you're not.  

*Cue shooting star image and corny music*

- Katherine Gottli