Dear Donnie Darko, Your face? So adorable! I just want to chomp on it, swish it around in my mouth, spit it into a jar, take that jar and write "Donnie Darko's Face" on it with a Sharpie, then put it on a shelf so I can look at it 'cause OMG, Donnie Darko's face is in there! Holy potatoes! You're cute! Well done on your part, really.
Jesus, Angela, would you can it already? That's not my beer, I didn't put it there, I have no responsibility for it being there, and I do not care about it. And no, I am not paying for it. I can understand your frustration, I really can. A short while ago there wasn't a beer sitting on this table and now there is, so someone is going to have to deal with it being there.
