We got a good Super Bowl this year! Much like roadside diners, these things are either hit or miss; there’s never an okay one, you’re either wildly impressed or fishing for the Pepto Bismol in the glove box.
It also helps that the Chiefs and Niners followed what was a god awful game last year, so the expectations were probably lowered a bit. But Andy Reid got his Super Bowl and hopefully a boatload of cheeseburgers and sweet and sour pork sandwiches were patiently awaiting him as well. Everyone is genuinely happy for the guy, which is a rare thing in sports.
In his first two full NFL seasons, Patrick Mahomes has now won a Super Bowl, a Super Bowl MVP, a league MVP, an Offensive Player of the Year award, has made two Pro Bowl teams and has sustained only a little bit of brain damage. Pretty damn good for a 24 year old.
While the Niners were an incredible story this year, the city has won six championships since 2010 between the Giants and Warriors and also has unlimited access to delicious shellfish chowder served in sourdough bread bowls.
While Kansas City got to celebrate a World Series in 2015, the Chiefs haven’t won a Super Bowl in 50 years, so we can cross them off the list of teams-to-end-their-drought as we look up with sorrow and despair at the 1967 Stanley Cup banner in the ACC.
I saw a tweet that showed the win probabilities of the Niners this year and the Falcons a couple years back — the two teams that Kyle Shanahan has ran the offence — and boy is that tough to look at. The Niners had a 95.3 percent win probability heading into the fourth, while that cursed Falcons team had a 99.6 percent win probability during Super Bowl LI.
The halftime show was, um, something. Does anyone know who the guy rapping was? Pitbull? Ali G? I hope it was Ali G. Things I learned during the performance include finding out that Shakira’s name is actually Shakira and that Jennifer Lopez is indeed 50 years old — even though I went through the exact same ordeal a couple months ago when she hosted SNL.
While the Super Bowl garnered most of the spotlight this weekend, and rightfully so, it was actually one of the best sports weekends in a while; Novak Djokovic won his eighth Australian Open and leapfrogged Rafa Nadal in the process, reclaiming the title of the No. 1 ranked men’s player in the world. The Phoenix Open came down to the wire as well, with Webb Simpson edging out Tony Finau in a playoff to win the tournament. The Leafs beat the Sens in OT, the Raptors extended their win streak to 11 and Spring Training is just weeks away.
The NBA announced the rosters for the Rising Stars Game and I cannot believe the reactions from those who were ‘snubbed’. Should Terence Davis have made it? Yes. He dropped 31 in his first game since being ‘snubbed’. I put snub in air quotes because wouldn’t you rather go to a beach in the Caribbean for five days than have to go to Chicago for a meaningless exhibition game? It’s not even the actual All-Star game, it’s the damn Rookie game.
Jaxson Hayes told the league to “suck his d**k” before posting what is probably a Pelicans PR staffers’ note about how sorry he is. Just relax and use the break to your advantage. It is kind of absurd, though, that Zion Williamson is in the game considering he’s played in six games. He’s been great in those six, but it feels like Wendell Carter dropping out due to injury was like how Johnny Fontane just ‘got the part’ in The Godfather. I’m not saying Carter woke up with Benny the Bulls’ severed head in his bed but it is possible he received like a horn in the mail as a warning.