The Office: remastered

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*Disclaimer: This article is from The Brock Press’ 2018 satire publication, which followed the theme of ‘fake news’ meant to bring humour to our readers. All quotes are attributed to made up characters.

Most university students have sifted through multiple TV series on Netflix. Throughout various binge-watching days on the couch, some shows have stolen the hearts and timeline feeds of people all over. Everyone’s wishes of bringing back The Office have come true, but there’s a twist! A majority of the stars from the original show are being replaced.

Michael Scott will be played by — Steve Carrell

See, the only person who could fill the staff in a way that replaces the originals to the best of their ability is Michael Scott himself. He and his wife, Holly, have returned to Scranton to put their two kids through high school, and Michael wants his kids to get immersed in the paper business. While he prefers having iPhones to take pictures of his kids and document their lives, he doesn’t want his kids to forget the value of a written letter. Michael managed to save enough money in his time in Boulder, Colorado to purchase the entire Dunder Mifflin company from David Wallace, and now has soul control of his favourite company.

Jim Halpert will be played by — Jake Lacy

Jim has to be replaced by other Jim. His budding romance with Erin shows that the story can relive itself in another series. The new Jim Halpert, however, already has a name, and it’s Pete Miller. Pete will carry on the good-looking salesman role in the office, one who seems like he is underachieving selling paper.

Dwight Shrute will be played by — Clark Duke

The best choices to replace Dwight and Jim are the two characters who were pegged as the future Dwight and Jim. Duke will have to get much more aggressive with his pranking and involvement around the office. Seeing Clark Green move into a higher role in the revival of the show will surely catch the attention of fans of the original series.

Pam Beasley will be played by —  Ellie Kemper

Erin Hannon is going to become the new Pam Beasley. Her romance with Pete will be much more than it was in the original series, and the two will become the couple that represents Dunder Mifflin.

Kevin Malone will be played by — Joseph Tribbiani (Matt LeBlanc)

In his return to a more comical role, Joey Tribbiani will fill the role in accounting. His ability to do math when it pertains to food (pizza, pie, any other desserts) will perfectly align with the former Kevin.

Angela will be played by — Scarlet Johansson

With Johansson’s awful “Jersey” accent, it will make Angela’s character even more stuck up, increasing the bickering between her and her husband, Dwight. See, Angela’s character was downplayed at times during the series, but her former roles will allow her to

Stanley Hudson will be played by — Kevin Hart

Simply because, well, as we can all appreciate a co-worker who simply just wants to retire, wouldn’t it be even better to have an office clown? With Dwight and Jim’s roles being filled by two people who will be challenged to live up to the roles of their originals — there needs to be another character in the office who makes sitting at a desk for eight hours more interesting.

Nellie Bertram — Rebel Wilson

Here’s the thing, Rebel Wilson will have no issue filling the role of an under-qualified salesman who is in over their head but pretends like the world is peachy.

While some characters roles are merely being filled by characters who had lesser roles in the original show, Netflix says it will allow for continuity and a connection for fans of the original show to easily settle in with the new series. The new actors and actresses are likely to add a bit more comedy to the revival series (if that is even possible). The remainder of characters will be announced at a later date closer to the arrival of season one (August, 2018).

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