Goodman School announces Trump-inspired BBA program


*Disclaimer: This article is from The Brock Press’ 2018 satire publication, which followed the theme of ‘fake news’ meant to bring humour to our readers. All quotes are attributed to made up characters.

In a controversial move, the Goodman School of Business at Brock has decided to create new learning opportunities for Business undergraduates with a new Bachelors of Business Administration program. One of the largest and fastest growing business schools in the country, with international accreditation through the Association to Advance Collegiate Schools of Business (AACSB), Goodman is always looking for ways to attract new students to Brock campus, and it appears the Bachelors of Trump Business Administration (BTBA) is a surefire way to garner attention.

Students who decide to enroll in the program will take the first and second year of their Business Administration classes as any other potential BBA grad, but in third year will have the option to specialize in Trump-style courses and learning to simulate the President’s experiences in real estate and marketing. Among the Trump specification, students are also offered the opportunity to concentrate their studies in Marketing, Operations Management, Finance and many other fields.

So how does a BTBA differentiate a student from any other BBA grad? While, unlike other BBAs, a graduate of the newly created program will take a variety of courses only offered here at Brock.

For example, BTBA grads will take a second-year course in “Fake Sales Tactics” which will give the students the opportunity to work on semester-long projects to devise a totally fictional product or service and attempt to dupe members of the public into purchasing it. First-years will also get an introduction into some preliminary political science with the course “Lawsuits and Government Investigations”, which discuss content related to the state discovering that you have purposely misled the public and is launching criminal probes into your acts of fraud. Third-years in the BTBA program will get to take a special seminar on “Bankruptcy”, which will teach the business leaders of tomorrow how to declare bankruptcy, but still manage to recover and fail over and over again multiple times. Other elective courses include “Trump Steaks: How to Make Money by Branding and Selling Cheap Crap”, “Fake News: How to Handle the Lying Media” and “Inheritance and White Privilege” which teaches students how much easier it is to get away with all of this if you have a rich dad and are a white guy.

Students were granted an early introduction to the new program this past April 1 on campus, when Goodman Profs showcased an exciting new tutorial. The tutorial, titled “Basic Financial Literacy”, showed how just putting your money into an index fund would yield better than any of these tactics.

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