*Disclaimer: This article is from The Brock Press’ 2018 satire publication, which followed the theme of ‘fake news’ meant to bring humour to our readers. All quotes are attributed to made up characters.
After a year full of championship banners and milestones, the Brock Athletic Department is hoping to find success in a new sport next season. Coming for the 2018-19 school year, the Brock Beer Pong team will look to add to the collection of championship banners in Bob Davis Gym with one of their own.
While there have been debates surrounding whether or not beer pong should be considered a sport, some argue that it could get many students involved. It is no secret that alcohol and university life go hand in hand, and Brock’s Athletic Department is seizing the opportunity to capitalize on the inlfux of talent at Brock with the addition of their newest varsity team.
“Obviously university is a place to learn, but the social aspect of being at university is just as important to most students,” said Norm Tuffts. “You have to take school seriously, but if you aren’t having fun then what’s the point?”
Brock is not the only school looking to find success with the addition of the newest varsity sport. In fact, almost every other university across Ontario has decided to join in on the fun. Some of the exceptions are the University of Toronto and Waterloo University, with representatives from both schools stating that the students do not have time to play beer pong when they are all spending all of their free time in the library.
The proposed format for the new sport is set to feature tournaments where all teams participate, rather than individual matchups. Schools are allowed to have five teams entered in the tournament: two men’s, two women’s and a mixed team. In addition to the 10 players, there will also be two additional players who travel with the team for celebrity shots.
Teams will be awarded points based on how they finish in the tournaments, and the top six schools at the end of the season will participate in the OUA championships. The team in first place at the end of the year will be host of the OUA tournament, while the top two teams in the standings will move on directly to the semi-finals with a first round bye.
For anyone who has played beer pong before, you know that there are many variations of the rules depending on where you play. Rather than creating one set of rules for all teams to follow, each team will be able to create their own “house rules.” Teams must then follow the rules of the host university for each tournament, meaning that each tournament will be slightly different.
“I think it makes things really interesting. It’s something that you get used to just from playing at different parties. It seems like everyone plays with their own set of rules anyways, so playing with different rules here shouldn’t be hard to get used to,” said Tuffts.
While the rules are still being developed by each university, the OUA has set some requirements that each university must follow. Schools must find a way to limit alcohol consumption by the athletes, and beer companies are not allowed to become a sponsor of teams.
While the idea is still in the earlier stages of development, there are rumours that Isaac’s is a potential sponsor for the team. The deal would see the campus bar become the beer provider of the team, and the bar would host the tournament when it comes to Brock. Fans would be able to watch the tournament from the upstairs viewing area where the bar will also be open to serve them.
If you are interested in playing on the team next year, tryouts are expected to be held early in September, with Brock expected to host the first tournament of the year on Homecoming weekend.
*Ironically, this is actually still more likely than Brock getting a football team.*