The 2018 Arts and Culture band names list

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Every year, the A.V Club, a pop culture news site, compiles a list of incredible band names discovered during the year. It’s about the only thing worth reading on The A.V Club anymore, because they don’t even have to write anything; it’s entirely reliant on the creativity of everyone else. People come up with some weird, brilliant stuff, and the list is a testament to that.

We here at the Arts and Culture section have been compiling a similar  (but less impressive) list. We don’t have a list of band names for you; what we have instead is a list of stupid things we’ve said this year that we think could become great band names. What follows is a short selection of these potential band names; there are 148 suggestions on the list and counting, and I can’t even remember the inspiration for many of them. Regardless, here’s a few priceless selections, loosely organized into categories, for your reading pleasure.

You’re free to use them, of course. If you do, though, and your band starts going places, remember your friends at The Brock Press when you make it big.

Great Names for Death Metal:

Wrathband (This is, actually, the last name of a man I purchased a guitar from last summer)

Nuke the Whales (‘gotta nuke something!’. Gotta nuke something indeed, Nelson Muntz)

The Principle is Death

Braggadocious (definition: boastful or arrogant. Sounds like most metal bands to me)

Forceful Organ

Holy Anger, Batman!

Bands for a Millennial Audience:

A Small but Active Meme Group (see also: A Meme I’m Into)

Tall Zucchini

The Wifi’s on the Fridge

This Alt-Rock Band I’m Aware of (how do you make alt-rock more hipster? By naming your alt-rock band as confusingly as possible)

Deconstructing the Zac Efron (see also: Efron-Esque Emergence from the Chrysalis of Puberty)

Post James Franco World (watch Riverdale. I promise you, it’s worth it for gold like this)

I Downloaded a Gamecube (‘you wouldn’t download a car!’… There’s a 3D Printer in the Brock Library. Watch me.)

The Taco Bell Vampires (is it a critique of capitalism? Is it about having the munchies? Is it meaningless nonsense? You decide!)

Band Names for the 70s and 80s:

Peace Flood (suitable for bands playing mostly Doors and Rolling Stones covers)

Sanctimonious Air Guitar

Galactic Funk Episode

Medallion of Dance (it’s definitely disco time)

The Lakehead Thunderwolves (This is a real sports team. Well, it was a real sports team; I’m about to make it the greatest 80s hair metal band in the world.)

 

And Band Names for More Modern Music:

Electric Honeycomb

Audible Sensations (want to be vague and pretentious? Wear a beanie while you call your band this, and you’ll get more eyes rolls than you can possibly imagine)

Dabbling in Energy

Moving the Gradient

Noon Thirty (that’s right, Noon Thirty. You change the way people talk about what time it is. THAT’LL change society for the better!)

Cynicism and Rebellion (actually, that’s also a pretty good band name):

Troll Shaped Millionaire (Stick it to the millionaires! This was a reference to Danny DeVito’s character in It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, but it applies to plenty of rich folk, I guess)

God Wants Out (the ‘God is Dead’ for the age where everyone gave up a long time ago)

That Idiot Prince

Ate Himself in Protest

No Rebuttal

The Most Normal Haircut You Could Possibly Have (it’s so deliberately bland that it swings back around to being rebellious)

Quebec is Anarchy (I don’t know what this is in reference too. Feel free to change the city to your hometown, although that could be pretty hit and miss)

The Government Yelled at Me

The Insurmountable Mess that is Life

For Bands that cover Jack Johnson

Pity Party in a Teepee (maybe you cover more Elliott Smith than Jack Johnson, but the point still stands)

This Rock Has Feelings (the quote referred to a literal rock, but it’s good wordplay, you know?)

Ukuleles Doubling as Water Guns

Buffalo Tribunal

And finally… Random names that were too good to not include

It May Have Been Real

Not A ‘Woo’ Moment

The Wine Opening Men (you play every show in top hats, or you lose your copyright on this name. That’s how it works.)

My Soul Farted

Schrodinger’s Spill (did it get wiped up? Or do you still need to wipe it up? Both are true until you look, so just ignore it)

The Dashes! THE DASHES!!

Raptor Da Vinci (History just got fun as hell)

Far Left Mohawk

The Basement Danishes (see also: The Danish Basements)

The Imposter Turn (The True Turn is also on this list. One day, I hope to witness a Battle of the Bands between these two. Scott Pilgrim style)

The Cowardly Meatball

Works for Kelsey Gramer (you can adjust this to any outdated celebrity of your choice)

Quantum Weasel

Half Rodent/Half Universe (this one you CAN’T have, I call dibs.)

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