“He Said” “She Said”


“My boyfriend is a regular at a local restaurant/bar, and every time he goes i feel like he is flirting with the bartenders and forgets about me. How do i address this situation with him without sounding needy?



He said:

“The first thing I’d say about this is that you under no circumstances should worry about being needy for wanting to achieve better communication with your partner. As long as you approach a topic in a respectful and adult way, both parties will only benefit from more conversation. But as far as this situation goes, I find that there is serious potential that you’re reading into things. From your entry here it seems you don’t really know what your boyfriend does at the bar and you’re assuming the worst. I would say the safest bet would be to just explain to your boyfriend that you’d love to spend more time with him in a social setting and go out to the bar with him. A general rule of thumb here, more communication is always better as long as it is approached in a mature way.




She said:

“First of all, although it’s normal to be jealous, especially if you’re feeling insecure about the relationship, you shouldn’t assume that just because he’s going to a bar, that he’s automatically flirting with the bartenders, who may or may not be females. To ease your mind, why don’t you go with him sometimes? Not only will this allow you to spend more time with him and become more involved in his social life, but it can help ease your mind and you’ll be able to see if there’s actually a problem. It’s important to take a minute and ask “Is there a problem, or are you the problem?”. Is going out and flirting with bartenders the problem, or is your insecurity the problem?



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