Newly single? Don’t have any confidence at the bar? Being able to go up and talk to someone at a bar is a common issue among many people. However, don’t go to the bar hoping to pick someone up, it’s about having fun. Nonetheless, here is a pickup survival guide for when you do see someone you want to go and talk too.
Confidence is key
Before you make your approach, you have to remember to be confident in yourself. Don’t psyche yourself out, you have what it takes to go up and make conversation with someone. If you can’t find the courage, just don’t even think about what you’re going to say, just go right up and start talking. Confidence is attractive too, so it will definitely help spark that initial conversation. You have to be secure within yourself first before you make your approach. Just remember: there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance, and arrogance is not attractive.
The pick up line
Don’t think that this means that you should use a corny pick up line (although those can actually work depending on the person), you just need to come up with something that can start a conversation. Play the situation as is, ask them something about themselves, compliment their outfit or simply just walk up and introduce yourself. Most people are willing to make conversation with strangers at the bar, and most are just as intimidated as you to start a conversation. Don’t spend too much time trying to figure out what to say because you might lose your chance. Plus, thinking on the spot will make your approach seem more natural which is always better.
Keep the conversation going
Once you get past the pick up line and you start talking to the person you might realize that you have no idea what to say. Always keep things simple! If you’re both students, ask them about their program or where they’re from. Chances are the person is most likely trying to come up with things to say as well, so almost anything will work! Just remember, don’t say something that will drive the person away such as: “I just got out of a relationship yesterday” or “I voted for Trump”. At the same time, give the other person a chance. Awkward conversation is to be expected when you’re talking to someone new, so don’t let that original conversation drive you away.
Don’t rush things
Unless you’re not being serious about it, don’t ask the person to go home with you within the first five minutes of the conversation. Many people will not appreciate being asked this right away, so save yourself from being that person. Spend time talking to them and see how things progress, you might end up saving yourself — 30 minutes into a conversation you might realize you want to stay as far away from this person as possible.
Do NOT go to the bar assuming you’re going to pick up the first person you talk to. Chances are you’ll run into a couple of people that are just not interested in talking to you, that’s normal. Some people go to the bar just to socialize with their friends and don’t want anything to do with people they don’t know. Don’t lose your confidence if something doesn’t work out how you were hoping it would.