Your Holiday film list

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Edward Scissorhands

The Tim Burton holiday classic Edward Scissorhands is a fantastical 1990’s romance. The film tells the story of Ed (played by Johnny Depp), a man who has scissors for hands as he is taken in by a suburban family. The film follows Ed’s blossoming relationship with the family’s daughter, Kim (Winona Ryder), through their trials and tribulations of a judgmental community. While not exclusively a holiday movie, it embodies some of the holiday spirit.

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Plains, Trains, & Automobiles

While admittedly, this movie is not about a December holiday either, it does take place around American Thanksgiving which is close enough for me. Plains, Trains, & Automobiles is utterly hilarious and the fabulous director, John Hughes does a fantastic job. The main characters, played by Steve Martin and John Candy, are the worst of travelling partners but are lovable and relatable. In the end, this film is great to watch with your not-always-easy-to-get-along-with-family over the holidays in the true holiday spirit of forgiving or at least, tolerance.

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Die Hard

John McTiernan’s Die Hard has all of the action that your holiday needs. Big explosions, a hardened, morally ambiguous cop, a fraying marriage, impossible feats of human strength, it is basically perfect. To close out 2016, it is only fitting to watch a fantastic Alan Rickman performance, and it is one of Bruce Willis’ best. Reginald VelJohnson’s character will warm your heart and Bonnie Bedelia’s is fantastic. When I think “holiday spirit” this is what comes to mind.

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The Star Wars Holiday Special

The Star Wars Holiday Special appears on this list more as a warning than a suggestion. The film is hard to find even if you do want to torture yourself with it (hey man, whatever you’re into), but I strongly suggest that you don’t. The plot is horrendous, the acting even more so and the movie makes you feel how the creators must have felt: like you are on a bad trip. The first 10 or so minutes is all Wookie dialogue without subtitles, and there is a trippy pornographic music video watched via the 70’s version of the Oculus Rift by Chewie’s elderly father. Happy Life Day guys, don’t watch The Star Wars Holiday Special, it is not a so-bad-it’s-good movie, it is a why-am-I-watching-this-please-help-I-am-both-bored-and-in-pain movie.

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Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale

Being somewhat of a scrooge when it comes to holiday-themed media, I was hard-pressed to remember any holiday films that I enjoy other than a certain Tim Burton film which will not be named here for the sake of humanity, and 2010’s Rare Exports. Rare Exports is by far the most exciting and fun holiday movie I have ever seen. The Finnish dark fantasy/horror film should be watched by you, reader because hopefully, it will make Christmas weird for you forever. I will say no more to avoid spoilers but there is a CGI army of naked old men in it and if you need more from a film pitch your expectations are unreasonable.

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