Relationship Advice

For the last month, The Brock Press has been circulating a “Love & Lust” survey, asking students to tell us about relationships, stories and questions in regards to love, sex and dating. While some of the questions we (thankfully) chose not to answer like “where do babies come from?”, or “Should I be a monk?”, here are a few of your questions that we hope our non-professional opinions can help answer.

“Where do all the good boys go to hide away?”

Downtown. They are all postin’ it up in bars, downtown St. Kitts every Saturday night. Maybe gettin’ their groove on. (I’m only playin’!) I’m a rare case, because I met my boyfriend in the most random of circumstances while we were both dancing it up at the club. I think it’s safe to say that usually random, drunken encounters don’t evolve into something more than flings or awkward run-ins the next week at school. Honestly, though your dream man may be clubbin’ it up, don’t get me wrong! But from what I’ve seen — I’d have to say that the good guys are probably in plain site. They are usually disguised as dismissably ‘not your type’, as your best friend, or as someone you’ve never even considered talking to in your life. I am not going to pretend to be a hero, but I will tell you I have had experience searching for these ‘hideaways’. I’ve settled for tons of people before just because they were “aesthetically appealing”, because I simply had crushes, or I thought I could make it work, when really, I ended up happiest when I went for someone that I didn’t have to look for whatsoever. I ended up with someone who kind of just fell into my life with no disguises or games. I realized the ‘good’ ones don’t hide away; they are usually someone you look over when you’re searching too hard. Cheesy, but true. Don’t overlook. I’m sure you’re a good, good, girl or boy who needs a little company.

Yours truly, JammyJam

“Is a dry red patch on my scrotum a sign of an std?”

First of all, thank you for choosing an anonymous online survey to confide in with regards to your sexual health, but I can honestly say that no one here at The Brock Press is a medical expert. Like, not even close. I took ERSC 1F90 man: “Rocks for Jocks”. I thought a microscope was a gun attachment in Call of Duty until twelfth grade.

If you have a condition that you are concerned about, like a “dry red patch” on your scrotum, the worst thing you can possibly do is look to non-professional sources for help. If you go on webmd and type in the syptoms of a common cold, it’ll likely provide you with the diagnosis of a rare, terminal disease found only in certain mosquitos in Northern Belgium. Which, is a convoluted way of saying that these sites and open access websites are alarmist to say the least. It’s almost as bad as making Wikipedia your primary research site on a university History paper.

Now, that being said, there is help available to you immediately, and often anonymously! Brock Health Services, for example, provides free STD screenings for all Brock students. Don’t wait for next year’s Brock Press Love & Lust survey to get practical medical advice, go get checked immediately, and remember to practice safe sex in order to help protect yourself against sexually transmitted diseases!

Sincerely, Mr. Parascope

“Should I lower my standards? I feel like the Costco of dating.”

I’m going to start this with a quote from Perks of Being a Wallflower: “We accept the love we think we deserve.” It is important to remember that you are much less likely to end up with somebody if you don’t think that you deserve them. Confidence is extremely sexy, and the first step towards being able to successfully end up with somebody is to remind yourself that you deserve that person’s affection.

If you go into things with the mindset of “I like this person, and I am awesome enough that there is a good chance they will like me back,” then you’re already way more likely to find happiness than if you keep on thinking that you need to “lower your standards.” You deserve so much love, but before you can accept that love you need to make sure that you know and believe that you deserve it.

I also would like to challenge the idea of “standards.” If conversations about boys with my friends have proven anything to me, it’s that everyone is attracted to very different types of people. Someone who is an “eight” in one person’s eyes is often a “four” in someone else’s eyes, and a “perfect ten” to another person.

Rather than thinking about yourself as the “Costco” of people, think about how dating in general is kind of like Costco. Some people prefer the free samples, some like the bulk meat, some like the cheap hot dogs, and some are all about the 10 dollar pants; at the end of the day, everyone wants something different, but it’s all equally important and valuable to the overall experience of the store.

Sincerely, one dollar hot dog

“Why do girls take so long to orgasm?

The idea that a female orgasm is difficult to achieve is actually quite mythical. When people ask this question, it tends to be a dead giveaway that they haven’t spent enough time trying to actually understand the vagina and its surrounding neighbourhood. Typically, if your vagina-owning partner is struggling to orgasm, it’s actually more of a reflection on you than it is on them.

It’s important to remember that, while you may want to just “stick it in,” this technique is not actually the best way to please your partner (or even yourself, actually). A basic understanding of sexual organs can help you bring your partner to orgasm with ease, and can actually even improve your own sexual pleasure.

The vulva (the larger sexual organ that is often simply called the “vagina”) is not just a big hole; there are many different parts, and understanding each of these parts and how they work can ensure that you are actually having sex in a mutually pleasing way. I’m not going to give you a full-on anatomy lesson in this column, but a simple Google search can provide a wealth of information on the different parts of the vulva.

Learning more about genitals is not restricted to vaginas; the penis and scrotum are also more complex than simply a “thing to stick in things,” and understanding how they work will allow for more thoughtful and enjoyable sexual encounters.

Sincerely, Dr. Clitoris (likely not a real doctor)


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