The Brocktopus: 8 things you can do to be the “perfect” roomie

For many of you first-year students, university will mark the first time that you’ve lived with anyone other than your family. So, we’ve compiled a list to help you cope with this big transition. Here are 8 things you can do to be the ‘best’ roommate ever.

1. Bring your life-like doll / Pokémon card/ Beanie Baby collections to your residence. You’re only supposed to bring the essentials and all of these are definitely essential. Hey, they’ll be worth something someday! (The Brock Press is not responsible for poor financial investment decisions regarding TY beanie babies)

2. There was a little tradition in my house, a game called ‘guess what this food was’, played with leftovers found under the bed months later. Or if you get tired of this game, there’s also, ‘guess what’s crusted onto this plate that we forgot to wash’.

3. University is a great time to explore new horizons, so why not take up a perpetually loud hobby or interest; may I recommend either the drums or the bag-pipes?

4. You owe it to your roomies to let them in on all the indie music you listen to. It’s not enough to just send them a link now and again: blare it from your room. Make it the soundtrack of their life — whether they like it or not. Seriously, they’ll thank you after you help them discover the Arctic Monkeys.

5. Your roommates will all love that karaoke machine that your Aunt bought for you last Christmas, so bring it to your new home at Brock and I promise it’ll cause quite the stir at your next house party.

6. When your roomie is sleeping, take your laptop, turn on the webcam and stream them sleeping on Omegle. You’ll make them an internet sensation overnight…literally.

7. A few years ago, there was a video taken in a Brock residence room that went viral. It starred a Brock student nicknamed “Dirty Mike”, very intoxicated and falling off a residence bed. We don’t condone binge drinking, but if you’re roommate is going to fall off the top bunk, make sure you’ve got a video camera ready.

8. So you just saw Straight Outta Compton and are now suddenly into 80’s West Coast Rap — make sure you adamantly remind your roommates that you liked Ice Cube before you saw him in Are We There Yet?.

So there you have it, eight ways you can be the perfect roommate. All guaranteed ways to become #friendsforlife. If you can think of anything else that you might expect from your dream roommate, tweet us @TheBrockPress.

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