What could possibly be a more efficient way of describing the shared student experiences at Brock University than the cold, hard numbers? When the interpretive experiences and personal stories end, these statistics will forever hold true in describing what life was actually like at Brock in the 2015/2016 school year. The margin of error in these statistics is approximately 43 per cent, however, the margin of error in the calculation of that margin of error is 100 per cent, as I am completely unaware of what a margin of error is.
1. The number of Netflix subscriptions among Brock University students has increased by 76.4 per cent since the addition of Friends to the lineup.
2. There is a 98 per cent chance that the previous statistic is inaccurate because all students who use Netflix are leeching off a friend’s account with a low security password.
3. Despite it being winter, three in four students who own the signature Bass Pro Shop hat will continue to wear it.
4. On average, it takes approximately 3.6 days for first-year students to finish the food their parents drop off on Move-in day.
5. Studies also show that after this happens, one in every two students will eat nothing but Cheez Whiz and Nutella sandwiches (with or without bread) until Thanksgiving.
6. The average Brock student, by September 17, has already come up with at least seven excuses as to why they won’t be able to show their parents their semester one marks.
7. 120 per cent of Brock students love pretty much any song written by Taylor Swift. (What do you mean, 120 per cent isn’t a thing?)
8. Zero per cent of the employees at The Brock Press are math majors.