The Brocktopus: 8 realities of Brock student life that don’t make any sense

 

Brocktopus

1. People who refuse to move past the stairs to the back of the bus

Riding a bus is simple, right? You get on, you sit or stand where there’s an open spot and then you get off at your stop. Despite a complete lack of complexity in this process, there always seems to be a few people who can’t figure out the finer points of being a passenger on one of SCT’s buses. Sometimes they’re an especially greedy person, who keeps their bag on the seat next to them instead of on the floor, or somebody who sits in the aisle seat, blocking access to the window seat. Then there’s the person (or more likely, a group of friends) who refuses to move up the three stairs to the back section to make room for the East Academic students freezing in line at the front of the bus. What it is that’s so desirable about that space right at the back exit, where they’ll only be more of a hindrance to other passengers trying to leave, isn’t immediately clear. What is clear is that these people need to be educated in the apparently difficult process of moving to the back to accommodate the front.

2. People who ride the bus from the Schmon Tower to the day care

While this person may perfectly understand the process of riding a bus, the issue is that they abuse the privilege in the first place. Yes, we live in (ahem, Southern) Canada, and winter can be rough in the evenings around this time of year. However, the space this person takes on the bus just to get to the Lowenberger cafeteria to stuff their face with chicken zingers could be better used by the student taking three buses home to West St. Catharines that night. Should you ever get the urge to be so lazy, keep in mind that Brock’s labyrinthine buildings connect most of the campus with warm corridors. Plus, if it’s zingers you’re travelling to, we both know you could use the exercise.

3. People who sit in the front row of class and don’t pay attention

We all know who this is; that person who chooses the front row to binge-watch Keeping Up With The Kardashians, or play Turtles in Time from beginning to end during a three-hour lecture. They should at least respect the natural hierarchy of the class and take a seat at the back, where no studious attendee with an eye-line to their screening of Game of Thrones could get distracted. As we all know, the further you move from the front row, the less attentive and engaged the students become, with a few exceptions. Know yourself well enough to sit with the other people who are only there because your Draconian professor takes attendance.

4. People who audibly agree with what the professor is saying in a large lecture class

This is another person you’ll often find in the front row, though for very different reasons. Every time the prof makes a point or punctuates an argument, they nod their head with gusto or announce their academic presence with an almost gospel-enthused “MMHHHMMM” or “YYYYES” or “RIGHT”, or any combination of the three. The rest of the class may also understand what the prof is saying, the difference between the two parties being that normal people don’t have to prove their intelligence by trying to engage in a dialogue with a lecturer.

5. That Wi-Fi doesn’t stay completely connected between buildings

We exist in an age of growing Wi-Fi connectivity. The saturation of our world in Wi-Fi signals is rising, but there are obviously still gaps in which we can occasionally find ourselves. A notable one is mid-way between the tower exit of the Thistle complex and the Student Alumni Centre. Maybe you’re going from class to get some grub at Union Station; maybe you’re leaving seminar in the Plaza Building to study at the library, and maybe you’re just waiting at the bus stop. Almost without fail, you check your phone to find yourself in an internet grey area, with just enough Wi-Fi that your device won’t give up and go to data automatically, but not so much that your Instagram will refresh. This wouldn’t be so much of an issue if the Brock Wi-Fi didn’t require you to log in the needlessly complex string of capitals, numbers, symbols and words you’ve devised for your student password every time you connect. Alas, it does, so it is.

6. People who don’t respect the “traffic lanes” in the halls

Maybe they’re on exchange from The UK, Australia or New Zealand. Regardless, there always seems to be a few people who have yet to adopt the accepted lanes for walking in the hallways. It’s yet another reason why no one should walk with their head down, whether looking at their phones or because they just received their graded essay saturated in red pen. It’s a safety issue that has yet to be addressed by any authority on campus. #walksafe

7. People who take the elevator up or down a single floor

This one is all about the honour system, everybody. Obviously, there are those who have an affliction or condition that could make it very difficult, painful or even impossible to use the stairs. However, what’s concerning are those with a very specific condition: laziness. Especially when it comes to the Schmon Tower elevators, which often have lines of people waiting to ascend up to 12 floors, it’s simply insulting that somebody would go up one floor when they could just as well take the stairs. Again, think of the zingers; a flight of stairs may do you some good.

On-campus franchises that don’t accept gift cards

Sure, we get it that they may not qualify as the “right kind” of franchise, but c’mon. The name on the gift card is the name of your business, right? Gift cards are among the most common gifts students receive, so it’d be nice if we could use them right here at Brock.

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