Here at The Brock Press, we strive to help our readers in any way we can, whether through providing information on, say, the upcoming BUSU elections (keep an eye out for the upcoming featured centre-fold content) or with more mundane dilemmas. With that in mind, this week we present the very first edition of “Form Letters for Everyday Life”, in which we offer standard fill-in-the-blank aids to streamline your daily, often inconsequential tasks. Simply fill in from the options given in the blanks provided and even cut out the letter if need be to help you on the spot. Whether it’s while standing in line at one of the campus Tim Hortons or while away on reading week, these letters will help you get through the expected small talk.
If you have a request for an upcoming edition, feel free to get in touch through email (contacts on page 3) and Twitter @TheBrockPress.
#1: Updating an extended family relative on your life
Oh hi, __________________________ (Aunt/Uncle/Grandma/Grandpa/ insert name [theirs, not yours]). Yeah, I’m still at University, I’m in my __________________________ (second/third/fourth/ if answer is any higher, just stick with “I’m still in University”) year. It’s __________________________ (good/fine/all right). I really like __________________________ (this one class that doesn’t have a final essay/ this one class that doesn’t have a final exam/ this one class where the Prof is more interested in their research than teaching, so it doesn’t have a traditional grading scheme). Once I’m done, I’m going to __________________________ (look for a job/ go travelling and look for a job/ move home and look for a job/ go to grad school). __________________________ (Yes / No/ *other), I __________________________ (do/do not/ don’t know if) I have a __________________________ (boyfriend / girlfriend / *other).
#2: Recommending a very-hyped TV show
Have you seen __________________________ (Breaking Bad/Game of Thrones/True Detective) yet? You have to check it out. It __________________________ (is too good/is crazy/ blew my mind)! There is__________________________(only one season / like, five seasons), so you can just binge watch it in a weekend like I did. Now, you should know, it __________________________ (takes a while to get going, so give it a season or two/ has tons of violence, nudity, and deplorable characters/is kind of a huge bummer). But honestly, it’s the best thing I’ve seen since __________________________ (The Wire/ The Sopranos/*Either of the two shows you didn’t choose for the first blank). Do you remember __________________________(Malcolm in the Middle/that guy who dies in everything, like, I think, the first Lord if the Rings/every terrible Matthew McConaughey movie)? It has that guy in it, and he’s really good!