Everyone has that one relative who is absolutely notorious for giving the most horrible Christmas presents. Their gifts are usually so bad you wonder how they even manage to get invited to the family Christmas dinners year after year.
What’s more frightening is how they go about convincing themselves that people are going to love what they’ve bought. The following is a list of terrible gifts to help you avoid becoming that terrible gift-giving relative this year.
1. Toasters. I’m sorry, but this still happens in 2014? It’s the 21st century and people are still buying their loved ones kitchen appliances, as if the toaster hasn’t made the number one worst Christmas present on every top ten list over the last thirty years. This needs to stop, it really does.
2. Any gift that has anything remotely to do with cleaning the house – just don’t do it. Nobody wants your sexist scrub brush. You know who you are!
3. Ties – If your boyfriend or husband has some unexplainable fetish for suit attire, go right ahead, buy him a tie. However, in the normal world, it’s one of the worst Christmas presents any man can get. We can do our own shopping thank you very much, regardless of what you think..
4. Self-help books, exercise books, diet books. Could there be anything more depressing on Christmas Day than receiving a self-help book or an exercise book from a close friend or relative, or even worse, a significant other? I want to be happy and full of turkey on Christmas, not reminded that Shaun T. can help me achieve that ‘beach body’ I’ve always been wanting but never get around to getting.
5. I know this is Canada, but don’t show up at Christmas with a package of bacon or bacon-flavoured vodka, or bacon soap, or bacon lubricant (yes there is such a thing), in fact, anything remotely to do with bacon, keep it in your fridge … or bedroom for that matter, where it belongs. No bacon for Christmas!
6. This one is for the re-gifters out there – yes, your presents are terrible if only because they are utterly thoughtless. We know some people wait until the very last minute to buy their gifts but its still no excuse. It is after all Christmas, pretending to care is what the holidays are all about.
7. Apparently giving marijuana-related gifts is a thing now. Unless your loved one appreciates this kind of thing, don’t try and convince yourself that your boss would just love a new bong for Christmas. Its a dumb idea and sure way to lose your job too.
8. Pets – especially if the person hasn’t asked for a pet, don’t even bother, no matter how cute that kitten or puppy is.
9. Magazine subscriptions – at least try and put some thought into your gifts. Unless it’s asked for, don’t convince yourself this is a good idea for a present, it’s a horrible gift… that keeps coming, every single month.
10. I couldn’t decide which one more terrible to give for Christmas, bathroom accessories, like a weight scale, or sex toys. But since they’re equally horrible ideas in any case, they deserve a spot on our top ten list (and both gifts are inexplicably worse if they are given to you by your grandmother).