The holidays are a time when we can come together with our families and reflect on all that has happened and will happen in the ensuing year. However, there are those who, much like the Grinch, see the season as a means of shameless self-promotion. Below are some of the worst Christmas-themed songs released by celebrities ranging from Justin Bieber to David Hasselhof, leading one to wonder is Christmas really about yuletide joy, or simply making a quick buck,you be the judge.
Justin Bieber—“Drummer Boy ft. Busta Rhymes”
What starts out as a respectable re-imagining of the classic little drummer boy quickly goes downhill following Bieber’s first rap verse,which touches on Michael Jackson, being the ‘king’ and expressing shock that his life-story was not “part of the Bible”.
David Hasselhof—“The Christmas Song”
Oh David Hasselhof, why did you ever think singing was a good career move? Well, in Hasselhof’s Christmas debut which features an uncomfortable amount of children in a room hitting guitars (yes “hitting,” not strumming) we quickly learn that the “Hof” should have stuck to rescuing helpless damsels in distress in Baywatch and Knight Rider. Who actually agreed to let their children be in this video?
Aqua—“Spin Me A Christmas”
When the phrase “worst pop band of the ‘90s comes up, I am sure Aqua get its fair share of mentions. It’s not that they were a bad band, it’s just to those of us who grew up in the ‘90s don’t like to be reminded of how poor our musical tastes were. In the typical Aqua fashion,“Spin me a Christmas” is full of terrible synth-loops and horrendously written lyrics. (It was bad but we were all young once right ?)
Stavros Flatley—“Santa’s Funky Groove” or “Happy Christmas, Merry Christmas it only comes once a year”
This one is just brutal. Usually I like to pick out all of the flaws in any said video but I don’t want to kick a man while he is down. Featuring the former runner-up to Britain’s Got Talent, along with a slew of characters such as gangster Santa and a weird guy in a Reindeer costume, you have to watch this one to understand what I mean by BAD!
Mariah Carey & Justin Bieber—“All I Want For Christmas is You”
Notice how I started and ended with a Justin Bieber track. Before I receive any flak from the endless fans of Mariah Carey, I actually really enjoyed her original track of this song. However, once you add Justin Bieber and his wonderfully written humming-auto tune intro, you get an awful song. Come on Mariah, you could have done better.