The Brocktopus: 8 things on campus that sorely need social media accounts

Brocktopus1. Guernsey Market soups

Every day, students make the trek from their classrooms and workspaces to see what three soups have been prepared at the market. So often they journey in hope of the greats: Cream of Broccoli, Potato & Whatever, or even, Chicken Wing. You can imagine their horror when they get there only to find something Tomato-based, or even a simple Chicken Noodle. A basic, one-post-per-day account could save so many wasteful trips to central campus. Let’s make it happen.

2. Free coffee

Often there’s a club or group set up somewhere on campus promoting their cause with free cups of coffee. Whether it’s in Mac Chown A Block or Academic South, they’re somewhere out there. By setting up a Twitter account to inform followers about the coffee, everyone wins! The group in question gets even more promotion, and the diligent followers get coffee. That being said, should it become too successful, the fragile on-campus coffee economy, held together by Sodexo, The Daily Grind Café and Common Grounds Café could face significant collapses.

3. Who’s out of what?

An umbrella account that would make daily announcements when Subway is out of lettuce, Harvey’s is out of cheese curds, or, well, whoever else is out of whatever else. Also, it could expand to make announcements whenever debit machines stop working somewhere on campus.

4. Construction delay timer

Not quite as simple, this account would put out a morning report covering delays on the various roads to Brock University, to give you a good idea as to how unhappy you’ll be by the time you park in Zone 2. It could even have a countdown going as to when the construction would (ideally) be done with! It’ll be Winter by then anyway, so, go Canada, I guess.

5. Shame the ‘Tower to Daycare’ bussers

This would be very straightforward: when someone on your bus rides from the Schmon Tower just to the Daycare, you snap a pic and post it up. Undoubtedly this would be illegal, but anyone who’s ridden the last packed 116 on a winter night only to see someone hop off 20 seconds down the route would likely look past this minor technicality.

6. Textbook exchange

Perhaps the most useful item on this list, a textbook exchange account would bring together all students looking to sell or buy textbooks at a reasonable price, ideally far below those offered at the Campus Store or on Amazon.

7. Lost in Mac Chown hotline

While a true hotline would be expensive and tedious to maintain, a Twitter or FB account that accepted SOS tweets and posts from first-years lost in the bowels of our on-campus maze would be very helpful. While some readers may scoff at the idea, holding to their own confidence in navigating the labyrinthine collection of seminar rooms and labs, it would surely behoove them to remember their first time looking for J block.

8. Novelty Sir Isaac Brock account

Whether it would be the General’s tweets as a student here, or maybe as an elected student official, surely somebody clever enough could form an account from the viewpoint of the university’s namesake himself, right? That wouldn’t get old, like, really quickly, would it?

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