Only at Brock

While eavesdropping and snooping is not supported here at The Brock Press, sometimes the things you hear are just so ridiculous that you have to stop, take a moment and text what you just heard to all of your friends. Enjoy!


Two girls sitting in the market next to my table:

Girl #1: Was Mike over last night?

Girl #2 : Yeah, he was he always comes over after we go to the Mansion House

Girl #1: Where does he live again?

Girl #2: Close to the Pen

Girl #1 So he only ever stays over when it’s late on a Friday and can’t catch a taxi home???

Girl #2: (Proceeds to stop talking and buries face in palm)


Mr. Jack Show watching Gossip Girl:

While walking past one of the study areas located in MacKenzie Chown, I couldn’t help but notice that you were watching Gossip Girl. I don’t know what is more shocking, the fact that I could successfully tell what show you are watching or that you out of all the people in the school would be watching this show. #Hewasatleast6foot5withTri’sandBi’sbiggerthanmyhead


As I walk into the library from the Tower:

Librarian: Well I’m sorry you lost the Laptop but I have to charge you the $1500.

Student: $1500 dollars for that old piece of shit?

Librarian: I would like you to calm down … (gets cut off)

Student: Calm down! For $1500 I could buy a new Mac, not some shitty school computer that can’t even run WOW

Librarian: …


Two guys walking down the halls:

Guy #1: That guy thinks he can rev his engines in a Civic?

Guy #2: Dude, it’s a Civic Si…. it matters, man.

Guy#1: Naw its crap.

Guy#2: What do you mean ?

Guy #1: It’s from 1981, it doesn’t count…

Only at Brock:


Two friends talking as they walked through Academic South:

Student #1: Man, how long have you been dating Sarah for?

Student #2: Almost a year actually. It’s going to be our anniversary in a week.

Student #1: Really? Good for you man. What are you gonnaa get her?

Student #2: Nothing, I’m going to break up with her. Anniversaries can get expensive.

Student #1: Shit eh?


Two students drinking at Skybar:

Student: Is it bad that I have a pint before every lecture now?

Friend: Naw, it’s all a part of getting used to a life of disappointments

Student: Well, at least we have the Skybar so close.

(Both cheers a pint)

Friend: What were we originally talking about again?

Student: I think it was something to do with life being disappointing?

Friend: Yeah, we are both alcoholics…


Three friends leave the Tower and proceed to try and board a bus:

Friend#1: Hurry we’re going to miss the bus! (Attempts to catch the bus but it pulls away moments before in the typical 116 fashion)

Friend#1: (line omitted due to excessive profanities)

Friend#2: Yeah, I’m getting really pissed off with these bus drivers who think they can just leave whenever they want.

Friend#3: Hey, there’s the Bullet!

Friend#1: Good, another damn bus that makes no stops and is of no use to us…

Friend#2: Pretty sure after seven the 116 comes on the half hour

Silence ….

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