Student mistypes debit pin in Subway line, university closed for the day

Brock University, like almost anything you choose to apply this simile to, is like an enormous machine; it has thousands of individual moving parts that work at different speeds and perform different duties. It is, for the most part, controlled chaos.
Despite its grace in motion, it is still susceptible to a well-aimed monkey wrench. Last week, that wrench was named Karl Williamson.
The University closed down on Thursday as a result of Williamson improperly typing his debit pin while paying at the Union Station Subway. Due to the popularity of Subway in the Brock community, roughly 75 per cent of the university’s population was affected by the 45-second delay, which subsequently led to an immediate closure of academic and non-academic scheduled activities and programming for the remainder of the business day.
What may have seemed like a minor transgression on Williamson’s part was in reality like the jeweler’s hammer upon a diamond’s weak point; what was a half-minute delay for Williamson had a butterfly-effect on all those directly influenced by the expediency of the Subway line.
Williamson, who has taken a hiatus from education due to stress and shame from the incident, was able to grant us a few minutes between intensive therapy sessions.
“Before it happened, everything seemed so normal. I was getting my usual order – a BLT with no tomato or lettuce – making small talk with the employee serving me and then I remembered I didn’t take out any cash that morning,” said Williamson. “So I went to pay with debit, and when I entered my pin, I pressed five instead of six. Why? Why did I press five?”
We were unable to get anymore from Williamson as reliving the experience led to another mental breakdown.
The university released this official notice, stating, “Due to one of our undergrad’s supreme incompetence, the University will be closed for the day in lieu of rescheduling classes to compensate for the delay”.
What will become of Williamson cannot be known yet; like lepers of old, he will no doubt be shunned from the Brock community to live as a pariah, and maybe attend Niagara College after being granted a clean bill of mental health.
To prevent such a breakdown in University business from happening again, the administration has enacted new policies surrounding the use of debit in on-campus Subway lines. Titled, “Williamson’s Law”, it will enforce a strict timeline for payment, only allowing patrons 35 seconds to provide some form of legal tender for the goods purchased.
Under the new law, anyone who fails to complete their transaction within the allotted time is immediately vulnerable to floggings by those behind them in line. Students and staff members alike will be encouraged to carry whips with them around campus.
In the wake of the new policy, students have immediately begun lobbying to have it modified to include the new Tim Hortons outlet lines. Updates to come as the situation develops.

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